Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Now This Blog Is Not Interested in Outing People, but Izzy and George was Just Too Much...

We, like you were bored to tears the last 3 days in K. We, unlike you, however, made a helpful comparison chart in case you were wondering if D.Sokols was really a gay man in disguise. Behold...


Straight

Gay

  • Mention of “wife”
  • Fascination with Dr. House and his Houses
  • Bad Haircut (did you notice the two little squiggly things coming down his forehead?)
  • Fascination with Desparate Housewives, (including odd joke about being in the shower with Eva Longoria-Parker, the kind we would have made in High School/First two year of college (yes it took us that long, ok?))
  • Hypo with Tiger Woods (pg 47) (gays don’t care for sports)
  • Hypo with Derek Jeter (pg 47) (gays know Mariah’s exes)
  • Use of Xena, Warrior Princess in a Hypo (apparently the straights and lesbians heart her)
  • Use of Ashlee, Fantasia, and Bjork in Hypos (pp 18, 48)
  • Constant use of Opie and Goober (did gays even know about the Andy Griffith Show?)
  • Use of Tori in a Hypo (Clearly Tori Spelling – the gays loved 9-0 and Absolutely Tori) (pg 47)
  • Mispronunciation of “Beyon-seh”
  • Said “Beyon-seh” in a really gay way.
  • Bad shirt and tie combo
  • Clear fascination with interior design (Martha’s decorating, antique rugs, Van Gough portraits).
  • Use of Comic Book Characters
  • Use of Batman and Robin (along with innuendo about them living together – another attempt at the use of gay humor to “pass.”)

  • Constant reference to Bravo TV – PR (Heidi, Michael Kors), Top Chef (Tom and Dale, pg 10), and Queer Eye (Thom).

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Please don't forget YSL!!!
come onnnnnnn Sokol!

Amazing post. The chart really broke it down.

Anonymous said...

Also, several hypos with Liz Taylor. Forgone conclusion. Still, this chart is amazing.

Anonymous said...

"Madonna agreed to sell her house on Fire Island to Justice Scalia."