Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Since there are no 25 y/o's at F.U. looking to buy FishWatch for $10mil....

I know there has been a lot of talk recently about this Jared Kushner character, the 25 y/o NYU Law student who bought the New York Observer, but I am going to talk some more. As my friend FHC has pointed out, we all hoped, for the sake of our sanity and self-esteem, that this kid would be short and pimply. Sadly, however, he is in fact tall, handsome, loaded, went to Harvard, AND is Jewish. (JF almost died when I told her all this, but really died when I told her that he already has a girlfriend. Sadly for me, the "they're either gay or taken" rule has been once again been right, but in the completely wrong way.)

This all gets me thinking. Why have no tall, handsome, smart, loaded, Jewish 3Ls at F.U. offered $10 mil or so to buy FishWatch? Much like the Observer, this blog is a "great branding opportunity" with "great potential." This blog also puts out "first-rate journalism" and has been regarded "both for its journalistic integrity and irreverent wit." WHERE IS MY JARED!???!!!

With this question in mind, it is with great sadness that I have decided to follow Mr. Kushner to NYU Law School to see if FishWatch has any chance with him, or his checkbook. FishWatch will be taking most of August off (just like Parisians) for vacay, and will re-assess the brand and blog as summer comes to an end...though at this point, it seems too enmeshed in the fabric of F.U. Law to go on. But we shall see.

Thanks to all the peeps who made these past few months of blogging (and past year at F.U.) so great - CoffeeGirl, Dean T, the SBA, Anonymous Commenters, and the crazy, crazy F.U. Law community in general.

All Best,

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Adventures in Interning...

So it's the last week EVER of the 1L internship, and I started off the week yesterday with a bang. Please note the following conversation:

Boss: So who is the owner of this [specific piece of evidence]?
FW: That would be James.
FBI Agent: Is that the defendant's husband?
FW: No, it's her baby daddy.
Boss and Agent: (Blank Stares, no laughter)
FW: Um...he's the father of her child.

Also, I think the boss read the letter that the production company CEO sent to Lindsay Lohan about her lack of professionalism, since I found a very similar one in my inbox this morning:
c/o Chateau Marmont
8221 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, CA 90046

Dear FW,

Since the commencement of your internship, you have frequently failed to do any substantial work. Yesterday, you sat in your office in silence (all day). I am now told that you don't plan to do anything substantial today because the legal issues are "too hard." You and your representatives have told us that your various mediocre memoranda have been the result of "inability to log on to Westlaw;" today we are told it is "problems with LexisNexis." We are well aware that your ongoing all day heavy gossip blog reading is the real reason for your so called "network problems." We refuse to accept bogus excuses for your behavior.
The letter goes on, but it is too painful to transcribe. The sad part is they CC'ed Prof BS of the famed externship seminar, and now I am scared I might not get the "Pass" I worked so hard for. I am going to need Dina Lohan on my side today, to help deal with the fallout. If you have her number, please send it to me.