Thursday, July 31, 2008

Mazel Tov.

Congrats to everyone for being dunzo with this miserable little experience. We will likely be back blogging in February to let you all know what it is like to re-take this puppy since today was impossible. At least at this moment we are drunker than we can say.

Hope you all have a great month off and please think of us fondly as you sit on the beach or your couch or wherever the next few weeks.


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

We Wrote A Song Called "Death To ExamSoft" To The Tune of The SoftTest Tech Support Hold Synthesizer Musak...

Hello from hell.

We write to you during our third attempt to get through to a SoftTest tech support person (and by "a" person, we apparantly mean "the" person since there must be no more than one). When we did the whole auto-upload, we got a big fat error message for our AM message. We then tried the manual upload, guessed it, no luck.

From 6-6:41, we stayed on hold, hoping that everytime the automated voice interruped the insufferable hold "musak" that it was an actual person. Instead, it was some woman telling us to check our exam upload history online. Um, thanks, we did that bee-yotch, and it's not there.
We then hung up and took a breather, and then spent 7-7:55 also on hold. Thinking that something must be wrong, we hung up and now we are on hold, yet again. Meanwhile, the clock is ticking down toward 11:59PM EST when our three AM session essays turn from 4 1/2 (rounded to 5) to a big fat 0.

Did we mention that this hold music makes us want to die? We don't get it, did they go home for the day?

At least there was no earthquake in NYC today, so I guess we have something to be thankful for...although that option is seeming better right now.

Update 10:10pm: Praise Xenu, it finally worked, so our 4 and 1/2's are restored.

Monday, July 28, 2008

It's The Day Before The Day of the Show, Y'all!

We, along with JH, JG, and AA went to see The Dark Knight this morning (9:30am Imax), and much to our surprise, the theater was packed. We thought maybe all the peeps in town for the Bar had the same idea as us - (which was to chill out with a really really dark and emotionally draining movie with lots of explosions and fighting), but we were the only ones doing flashcards during the previews and spotting the hearsay exception during a trial.

Anyway, we know what you are all thinking at this point, and we will all be fine, don't you worry my little reader(ship). Everyone has worked hard, even if that hard work included blogging or reading this blog, eating non-stop, napping, and incessant complaining. In fact, we have been destined for this day since birth, as shown by the 1984 New Yorker cartoon to the left (slash who among us was born in 1984 besides JF?) (Also, please don't tell on us for committing copyright infringement).

We urge you all to take the evening off and watch some Hills reruns or catch up on Project Runway and not to think too hard about how miserable the next two days will be. We hope you see you all well rested and ready to bring it in the early hours of dawn. Best of luck to all.


Friday, July 25, 2008

Exclusive: FishWatch Flashcard Exposé

In these trying economic times of rising fuel costs, many people around the country have eschewed their hummers and Range Rovers and opted for more economic vehicles including the Yaris or Prius and such as. Much like these economically and environmentally conscious citizens, many Bar takers have thought long and hard about the size of the flashcards they created and used to study for this miserable little test. Some hoped the economy would stabilize or decided to ignore the bad signs. Others planned ahead and saved money and trees by going small. Very small.

We begin our expose with those who have decidedly chosen against economy and green-ness, and have retained larger than life flashcards for their larger than life personas.

Despite his Canadian roots, CG has basically said "F. you" to the environment and cost-consciousness as he travels around the study area flaunting these monstrous 4x6 flashcards, leaving many Bar takers to wonder how sustainable such practices really are.

Maybe the strength of the Canadian dollar helped this decision?
(Yes that is a NANO)...

In addition to making our lives miserable with books and books of impossible questions, PMBR also chose to make some people's daily lives difficult - those who were lucky enough to get their hands on them had to carry around these gi-normous flashcards, (note: also with impossible questions)...

And weren't silver hoops so SAT vocab circa 1998?

FishWatch himself went for a more middle ground option, with the standard 3x5 flashcards, balancing cost, environmental friendliness, and the need to pack in as much info as humanly possible on each since we made so few...

Notice the coffee stains on "Antenuptual Agreements,"
which we see as bad sign for our future...

And yes, our Nano screen did crack...

JH cut his 3x5 cards in half (we know because he complains about the paper cutting machine in the supply room non-stop). But we cannot make too much fun, since he lets us borrow these sometimes, and they easily fit in shirt pockets and Uniqlo skinny jeans back pockets for when you want to do some on your way to Beige, and then put them away before any normal people see you...

And they are color-coordinated! Great work, JH.


We may never know what a Holder in Due Course is,
but at least we can look good learning.

Finally, SB (née T) sent in some photos of her tiny cards - 3x5's cut in 1/4ths!!! This is really forward thinking, b/c they can easily be turned into earrings or pendants after the exam.

Mind you, those are the small binder clips...

Believe it or not, that Goyard bag is full of these little puppies...

We wish all of you good luck this final weekend - flashcard users and non-users alike. If you see any flashcard users out on the streets this weekend - please do send in pics as we are interested to see how they hold up against the elements.


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Dylan Lauren Could Make A Killing If She Set Up Shop Near Us...

Apparently every day requires something harmful and addictive to get through the day. Yesterday, it was alcohol. Today, it is candy and baked goods.

JH's mom shipped him more jelly bellies, Swedish fish, and peachy penguins after he single handedly ate the entire previous shipment. At least this time he decided to share...

When we went to visit people in other parts of the war zone to see how they were holding up, we were confronted with this...

and this...

and this...

We are praying for passage for everyone, if only because candy and cookies are marked up 200% or so in February b/c of Valentine's Day...


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Bar Takers, FishWatch Resort to Alcoholism...

Apparently, the time has come to hit the bottle (or can). Last night, after a miserable day of same old, same old, DK took off and soon walked back into the study area with two pint-sized cans of beer. "Who are those for," we asked. "Me," he responded. "You and...," we continued. "No, no...just me," said DK. And he was not kidding:

"Maybe recording statutes aren't so boring after all..."

Real Bar Takers of Genius drink Bud Light.

We soon followed his lead, but went for PBR while JH opted for the "keg can" of Heineken. But the beer, snacks and utter boredom soon took their toll on our workspace...

At least it looks like we are working hard - obvs that is what is most important....

Monday, July 21, 2008

NY Practice Essay #23402390293 Graded Answer

Name: FishWatch Essay Question: #23402390293
B-Bri ID: 24601 Grader Number: 666

Essay Grade: 2 and 1/2


The issue is whether FW will survive this week. (1/2 - you may also want to raise the issue of breaking out or not being able to sleep.)

In New York, people who sit in one place, complain non stop, eat constantly and fall asleep on the carpet under the desk often don't survive. (1/2 - The rule is also that excessive iced coffee intake also leads to a lack of survival.)

In this case, FW has sat in one place for hours, complained incessantly, eaten an entire box of trader joe's wheat thins that were not even his, and fallen asleep under the desk leaving carpet burns on his face. (1 point - OK analysis, but needs more.)

Thus, it is likely he will not survive this week. (1/2 point - HOW? Explain this here.)

Grader Comments: More IRAC. Be better at spotting issues.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Looney Tunes...

If last night's post is any indication, many of us have gone nutzo. If you need further proof, please take a look at the board in the room we and JH have camped out in. We have paid homage to P.Franz (despite realizing that she didn't really help us that much on property since we understand 0 of it, and in fact confused us on something as simple as cashing a check), and also left some property to Pizza Box, with a future interest in Joe's Pizza. Go ahead and categorize the interests, if you can.

Please Send Help.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

FishWatch Style Exclusive: Who Wore It Best?

Some people take these last weeks to mean they are allowed to wear sweats and matching velor track suits. But some chic Bar takers and FishWatch readers know you have to dress for the MBE score you want!

We asked 100 people in the Law Libes, Who Wore It Best?

Charlize tied her B-bri ID with a bow by Galliano for Dior at the 2006 Oscars....

But SL went for a simpler look, and
bowed her ID with the B-bri Lanyard, pairing it with a sparkly silver vest.

Mary Kate paired her B-bri Gallon Bag with a black long sleve mini and clunky silver...

But CH paired hers with Think Coffee and a pink mini, matching her ID inside!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Carbs, Beer, Mawwage, Divorce...

How many cookies did you people eat during class today? Don't lie to us. As we said, anything goes during Bar prep, and so we had about 4 kosher black and white ones and 2 and 1/2 chocolate chip ones and were tempted to fill the gallon bag with the leftovers on the way out, but resisted.

At the beginning of class, regional regional assistant director E.Fine said that we are going to have the best vacation of our lives in August, even if it only involves our backyard, a keg, and a straw. Did this sound amazing to anyone else? We might just rearrange our August plans.

Additionally, all this talk of "registry" and "children" really did make us want to find a husband, go to Williams Sonoma with the bar code gun, and draft our very own New York Times Wedding Announcement. We texted JF to see if she wanted to register too, but she noted that no one was going to want to get engaged to people in danger of failing the Bar.

Finally, we are so happy we are caught up to speed on divorce since we plan to push for the clinical law program here to start a celebrity divorce clinic, and hire us as clinic fellow. Will keep you posted.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Depression, BDP, Bankers, etc.

Did anyone notice the "Supporting Student Learning, Overcoming Depression" seminar that happened right next door to our B-Bri classroom last month? We just noticed the sign today:

This seems very appropriate and also conveniently located. Too bad we were still beaching it and taking things easy back on June 21st. Had this seminar been held this week, however, we would certainly have attended since the panic and depression have really set in.

This weekend we were pretty close to Brokedown Palace (BDP) mode as we reviewed our outlines right before doing practice qs and still got them all wrong. On Friday we almost lost it when at dinner at BLT Burger, we were reviewing Corps flashcards, and some douchey banker types who were talking about risk allocation turned to us and said sarcastically, "your conversation is really scintillating, what the F are you doing." We are sorry, we were not CHOOSING to talk finance on a Friday night, unlike you people, so don't mock us. We then asked them a question about stock record dates and they got it wrong, so we felt better. Also the fries and double milkshake (with whipped cream) made us feel better (as JH says, you can eat anything you want during Bar prep).

The next two weeks are going to be dark people, so prepare yourself. Anyone who did attend the above seminar, please chime in with helpful tips.

Friday, July 11, 2008

PFranz Doesn't Read The Blogs, FishWatch Dies Inside...

Sad news! PFranz admitted that "there are blogs...and websites," but added that "she doesn't read them." We died. Luckily, she did admit that she hears about them, so we retain hope that her entourage informs her of the love FishWatch and its fan(s) have been bestowing upon her.

Anyone who can find the blog that says a kitten dies everytime she sings gets a free P-Franz T-shirt, pictured, as we plan to have a full on blogger war with said blog.

Also, as we went to grab some food, we were attacked by a pack of wild, ferocious poodles! We kid you not (photos below!). Alas, there were only 3 of them, and Mad FIFI3 just doesn't have that same ring to it, so we didn't even practice our pneumonic...

En route towards FishWatch, planning their "real defenses" attack.

Post-Attack, but they forgot the fourth "I," Insolvency...

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Sorry for the Lack of Posts But That "Fear" That They Said Would Come Actually Did Come...

As you all know by now, the Javtiz Center is a dump. We are basically taking the Bar at a glorified bus terminal with three different climate zones in one room (on our walk to the bathroom from our seat, we had to remove 3 layers, and of course put them back on during the walk back).

What you did not know was that not all "Exits" at the Javitz Center are actually "Exits." Like the one ND, JH and we walked out of during the lunch break on Sunday. When we went out of the door marked with a big "Exit" sign, we entered what seemed to be the aftermath of nuclear war, where only roaches and aspiring lawyers could survive. When we continued walking, we, and all the other lemmings we followed, realized we were trapped! See, e.g., infra:

False Imprisonment? We think yes.

Can you imagine if this was actual Bar day? These people would be SHRIEKING in anger and stress.

Luckily our beach diet finally paid off, and we were able to escape. Others were not so lucky...

After bombing the fake MBE, we followed regional regional director guy's advice, and went to the bar he suggested to go to, with many lovely F.U. friends. Best part - regional regional director guy showed up, and we met him in person! It was kind of like finally meeting Pierre Capretz from the French in Action videos in college...

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Pets, Cemeteries, but NOT Pet Cemeteries...

It is not everyday something you learn at B-Bri is actually on the front page of the NYTimes only hours later...

Helmsley’s Fortune May Go to the Dogs
In addition to $12 million Leona Helmsley left to her pet Maltese, Trouble, she left instructions that a trust valued at $5 billion to $8 billion be used to benefit dogs.

MPQ1 Takes Vacay, Fogets Sunscreen...

MPQ1 had a really nice and relaxing weekend at the beach house -- he got along really well with his housemates and even got in some quality pool time. He is pretty sad to be back, but at the same time is hoping to start feeling useful at some point this week, since he really has had nothing to do over the past week or so. Here are some pics of his weekend that he asked us to share.

Looking out at the beach, hoping to catch a glimpse of small birds or maybe even a deer.

"New York Essay Testing Volume is so jealers right now."

"Hey Guys! Watch this, watch this!"

Luckily there are no cars on the Island so he didn't have to worry about drinking and driving.

With us, however, the housemates were less forgiving. "The test is in September, right?" "No, actually it's at the end of July," we said. "Ooooooo, yikes" they responded.

Not exactly what we wanted to hear.