Monday, July 21, 2008

NY Practice Essay #23402390293 Graded Answer

Name: FishWatch Essay Question: #23402390293
B-Bri ID: 24601 Grader Number: 666

Essay Grade: 2 and 1/2


The issue is whether FW will survive this week. (1/2 - you may also want to raise the issue of breaking out or not being able to sleep.)

In New York, people who sit in one place, complain non stop, eat constantly and fall asleep on the carpet under the desk often don't survive. (1/2 - The rule is also that excessive iced coffee intake also leads to a lack of survival.)

In this case, FW has sat in one place for hours, complained incessantly, eaten an entire box of trader joe's wheat thins that were not even his, and fallen asleep under the desk leaving carpet burns on his face. (1 point - OK analysis, but needs more.)

Thus, it is likely he will not survive this week. (1/2 point - HOW? Explain this here.)

Grader Comments: More IRAC. Be better at spotting issues.

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