Bar Studying Is Much Harder (Slash More Fun) After 2/3 of a Bottle of Wine...

We interrupt this intense studying weekend to report on one of the more bizarre evenings of our lives. We are currently in a southern (red) state where our parents live. Our mom said to us when we landed, “You and I are going to a dinner party at my new friend’s house tonight.” We (of course) said we could do nothing this weekend except study, eat her food, and go to Marshall’s and Ross Dress for Less for deeply discounted clothing and shoes. But she insisted, saying that gays would be there. “Gays? Here?” we responded. She nodded enthusiastically. We gave in.

And gays there were. Two gay couples in fact, about our mom’s age. We were fascinated and thrilled. The hostess was a lovely woman who grew up first in a small Jewish community in Calcutta followed by a small Jewish community in Beverly Hills, who at one point screamed, "Can I help it if I love my gay friends?" On the other hand, she liked to call Obama an anti-Semite, which we gays did NOT like, and we all fought back in between the risotto and churrasco with chimichurri. Also present was a straight (married) interior designer, who kept talking to us about “chicks” and how we must be loving NYC cause there are so many of them there and that we should redesign our apartment in dark tones and clean lines to lure them in. Really?

Everyone said the F word a lot and drank heavily (and asked about the Bar and whether we were taking a class!). Our mom, of course, embarrassingly brought up our a cappella past, which the gays loved. At the end of the night, Gay #3 said that he and Gay #4 had to leave since they had yoga in the morning and Gay #1 said that he and Gay #2 had to make brunch for their friend with whom they did a lot coke in the 70s. (Reminder, this was all in front of our Mom, who is drunk after a 1/2 glass of zinfindel). The hostess pointed out that Obams did a lot of coke. “And so we heart him,” the gays said on the way out.

Yes, yes, we know it is Father’s Day, but this post is basically to give a huge shout out to Mom, who has somehow moved out of the New York area and down south only to become a fag-hag. And so we heart her.