Pets, Cemeteries, but NOT Pet Cemeteries...

It is not everyday something you learn at B-Bri is actually on the front page of the NYTimes only hours later...

Helmsley’s Fortune May Go to the Dogs

In addition to $12 million Leona Helmsley left to her pet Maltese, Trouble, she left instructions that a trust valued at $5 billion to $8 billion be used to benefit dogs.

MPQ1 Takes Vacay, Fogets Sunscreen...

MPQ1 had a really nice and relaxing weekend at the beach house -- he got along really well with his housemates and even got in some quality pool time. He is pretty sad to be back, but at the same time is hoping to start feeling useful at some point this week, since he really has had nothing to do over the past week or so. Here are some pics of his weekend that he asked us to share.

Looking out at the beach, hoping to catch a glimpse of small birds or maybe even a deer.

"New York Essay Testing Volume is so jealers right now."

"Hey Guys! Watch this, watch this!"

Luckily there are no cars on the Island so he didn't have to worry about drinking and driving.

With us, however, the housemates were less forgiving. "The test is in September, right?" "No, actually it's at the end of July," we said. "Ooooooo, yikes" they responded.

Not exactly what we wanted to hear.

Spread Wills, Not Disease.

This news came into our inbox this morning, just in time for Pride.

According to a new city Health Department study, one in four adults in New York City has genital per stirpes.

Twenty-six percent of citizens who live in the five boroughs are walking around with per stirpes, a full 7 percent above the natural average. Here in NYC, the rate is even higher among FU Law Students, BBri Administrators, and gay men. (If any of you are all three, good luck to you).

Be safe this Pride Weekend, y'all. We are off to the beach. Again. (Failure).

FishWatch Wills Hypo 34a

During the Wills Lecture, JH writes out a Will for FishWatch on one of 3 of FishWatch's bananas (we get hungry, OK?), stating the following, "I leave JH my pressure cooker." He then forces FitchWatch to initial the Will, whispering forcefully (so as not to disturb people actually paying attention) "just do it, I will leave you my Kitchen Aid mixer." FW resists, but not too forcefully, since he does really want said mixer. Two witnesses sign after JH points out FW's signature to them. See diagram below:




JH then has FishWatch write out a Will for him on a Clean & Clear Oil Absorbing Sheet, saying "I leave Fishwatch my uhm-pire red Kitchen Aid Standing Mixer," signs it, and has two witness sign too. See below.




JH then asks for another Clean & Clear Oil Absorbing Sheet. Reluctant at first, FishWatch notices some shine on JH's nose and acquiesces. JH then secretly writes, "I Hereby Revoke Will #1!!!" and signs it. Below the signature, he writes, "I leave my standing mixer and Fee Simple to J.F." as shown below.



FishWatch then dies of boredom. What result?

At Least Someone Is Making Use of These Things...

We just spent a few minutes walking around the clinic offices looking for someone to bother, when we came across a brilliant use of the legal size NY Outline book that some of us (mostly us) have yet to crack open. I vaguely remember Regional Regional Director person telling us on Day One that the book won't really be that useful to us, but now I am convinced since it seems very comfortable as a base for random computer screens...

Please let us know if you have found other such uses for these books as reduce/reuse/recycle should be the theme of all of our lives during these green times.

Notice the blank screen. Is that FishWatch we see on the taskbar?


These screens are equipped with the ability to increase the height, but why

use that feature when B-bri books are so much more aesthetically pleasing?
Also, that IS FishWatch on the taskbar! Caught.

Apologies, Beach, No Work, Carbs...The Usual.

Many, many apologies for the delay, but the “day off” on Thursday really messed us up. What did y’all do with your day off? We inaugurated our pressure cooker and made dal and also packed for our weekend trip to the beach. A few thoughts:

• Did anyone go to “Essay Advantage?” We know you did, so spill, and tell us what kind of people attended.

• “Studying” at the beach is very, very difficult. As always, we brought every single book we could carry and got through approximately 1-2 pages. We did bring the Yellow testing book this time, which went very well with our new green hand me down Vilebrequin, but is now full of sand in addition to its un-annotated pages.

• When you go away for the weekend, you take it as license to eat every single carbohydrate in sight. We are not kidding, on Saturday, we had 2 bagels, a Buttercup bakery cupcake, a donut, and 2-3 of those Levain bakery cookies that are purposefully undercooked on the inside. That was in addition to the 2 shrimp baskets and fried clams. We can only wonder what JH and JF ate on their respective weekend trips, but silence is basically an admission in this matter, so we assume the worst.

• In other news, today we went to the afternoon class (um, we actually had things to do this morning), and noticed a few gems. Apparently VH214 Afternoon Session has a “Bar Mustache Club,” in the same vein as November Beard Club, or other such facial hair oriented organizations. We imagine they are growing them out until July 31^st. Three men sit in the back and stroke said mustaches in unison for the entire lecture, and we are seriously thinking of joining them.

• Some preppy girls in front of us today apparently know a “John Smith” who imputes “unchastity” to women, and simultaneously suffers from a loathsome disease, as anytime Potty Mouth Torts Prof used John Smith in a hypo in the abovementioned categories, they looked at each other and started laughing uncontrollably.

• It’s really defamation to say someone is gay in New York? Um, we are screwed (see Wednesday’s post). Luckily, as we learned, truth is a defense, and we have that handy chart to offer into evidence, which should meet a clear and convincing, or at least preponderance of the evidence standard.

Now This Blog Is Not Interested in Outing People, but Izzy and George was Just Too Much...

We, like you were bored to tears the last 3 days in K. We, unlike you, however, made a helpful comparison chart in case you were wondering if D.Sokols was really a gay man in disguise. Behold...

Straight	Gay
Mention of “wife”	Fascination with Dr. House and his Houses
Bad Haircut (did you notice the two little squiggly things coming down his forehead?)	Fascination with Desparate Housewives, (including odd joke about being in the shower with Eva Longoria-Parker, the kind we would have made in High School/First two year of college (yes it took us that long, ok?))
Hypo with Tiger Woods (pg 47) (gays don’t care for sports)	Hypo with Derek Jeter (pg 47) (gays know Mariah’s exes)
Use of Xena, Warrior Princess in a Hypo (apparently the straights and lesbians heart her)	Use of Ashlee, Fantasia, and Bjork in Hypos (pp 18, 48)
Constant use of Opie and Goober (did gays even know about the Andy Griffith Show?)	Use of Tori in a Hypo (Clearly Tori Spelling – the gays loved 9-0 and Absolutely Tori) (pg 47)
Mispronunciation of “Beyon-seh”	Said “Beyon-seh” in a really gay way.
Bad shirt and tie combo	Clear fascination with interior design (Martha’s decorating, antique rugs, Van Gough portraits).
Use of Comic Book Characters	Use of Batman and Robin (along with innuendo about them living together – another attempt at the use of gay humor to “pass.”)
	Constant reference to Bravo TV – PR (Heidi, Michael Kors), Top Chef (Tom and Dale, pg 10), and Queer Eye (Thom).