Even with 2 or 3 wars going on in the Middle East and a major power outage in Queens, you can still count on FishWatch to read Sunday Styles....

I am sure you all caught the article in the Sunday Styles section about arts organizations courting summer associates to start the ball rolling on arts patronage. My favorite comment was by far the following:

“It’s another thing to keep summer associates happy to defray the reality of how miserable their lives are going to be,” said Cameron Stracher, a professor at New York Law School and author of “Double Billing: A Young Lawyer’s Tale of Greed, Sex, Lies, and the Pursuit of a Swivel Chair” (William Morrow, 1998). He suspects most of their patronage of the arts will consist of writing checks. “It’s like the sublimation of their true desires,” he said.

I laughed at first, really hard...but then thought of that coffee date I had with my voice teacher about a week before my F.U. deposit was due. "Don't do it," she said. "You should be auditioning. Musicals are more fun than Law School. Musicals are like summer camp. Law School...well...isn't."

I disagree. Law School is like summer camp, only it's that CTY camp my parents tried to get me to go to. Yes, you know that camp...the one for which the Indian and Korean kids in your 8th grade class took the SATs to get in.

If only I had this thing during Contracts Class...

So I am now in possession of a crystal gavel. The best parts are (a) that I now own a crystal gavel, and (b) I own something that says "Best Orarlist" on it. Note that it does not say "Oralist," rather "Orarlist." I thought maybe I had been spelling and pronouncing it wrong all this time, but I googled it, and the "did you mean...oralist" came up, and the "did you mean..." on google is never wrong. Regardless, I fully plan to bring it out to bars this weekend, and to class in the fall and bang it on the desk when I disagree with Prof Gords or Gents, but only after I bedazzle it with Swarovski Crystals for added effect.

"Orarlists" are better than "Oralists" in bed.

But by far the best part of last night was my interaction with the Honorable Judge P at the post Moo Court Final dinner, with whom I had the following conversation:

FW: Respectfully your honor, I have heard a rumor that you enjoy a certain blog about [F. U. Law].
Judge P: Yes, I do! It's a very cute blog.
FW: Well it's actually my blog, and I am really glad to know someone on the federal bench is enjoying it.
Judge P: Loved the Coffee Throwing.

Next on the list is getting members of Congress to read this thing, so contact the FW 2006 Lobbying Committee with ideas and strategies.

Don't worry, I ran over Lizzie Grubman at Star Room...

Let's just recap a little conversation I had on Friday afternoon around 4pm:

Boss: FW, why don't you come with me to court for these arraignments and maybe you can stand up on one of them. It is a great opportunity for an intern and you will benefit greatly from the experience.
FW: Um...that sounds great. But I am heading to catch a train to East Hampton with my friends. Do you know how long the ticket lines are on Friday afternoons? Have to get there early. Smell you later!

OK, OK, it didn't exactly go down like that, but pretty close. Basically the boss now shakes her head in dismay whenever we make eye contact.

I managed to get my list of 35 together yesterday morning, but found that when people asked me if such and such a firm is on my list, that I have no freaking clue. I am pretty sure that for 25-35 I just went based on if the date of their interview was on my friend's birthday or not.

Finally, I have somehow found myself in the Moo Court semifinals, and really don't know what to say. I guess my high school masterdebator skills have somehow resurfaced after a long hiatus, and that I have added the requisite "punch and pizazz" that my legal writing prof told me I needed in my writing and speaking. Obvi, the boss was shocked when I told her.

Spotlight on Alternative Journals...

In addition to the FishWatch Law Journal, there are several others around that you may not have heard about. Here are some highlights:

KV writes in that, "I've heard back from the Security Guard Journal. My first note is entitled "How to keep F.U. students out of the atrium when we host events and pretend that they don't exist." Congrats KV! I hear that the first issue this year will also include an empirical study on how many times the guards actually look up to check your ID, and its effect on the City's crime rates.

Another student writes in that she was given an offer from the Lowenstein Cafeteria Journal, which this year will feature notes about improving credit card machine approval time, the long term effects of Crystal Light, the pros and cons of dating an F.U. Undergrad, interviews with Chef Ian and Cashier Luz, and finally, the microeconomic effect on demand of LoCaf items when free cupcakes are introduced into the market.

Finally, a new journal getting off the ground this year is Alan's Law Journal. I spoke with Faculty Advisor Alan himself, and suggested inquiries into why the Balsamic vinaigrette tastes like BBQ sauce, why the price of a Naked Juice is so high, and what exactly the F.U. discount is, cause no one ever seems to get it.

These journals, however, did not fare as well as the others who get to stay in the main Law building, and thus have to deal with office space at West 60th Street. Regardless, I think we can look forward to a great year of insightful legal scholarship. Congrats to all.

Why you should never move to Brooklyn...

This afternoon at Lassen & Hennigs on Montague Street in Downtown Brooklyn, I was approached by an elderly woman who clearly spent too much time in the sun, with whom I had the following conversation:

Woman: Excuse me, are you from India?
FW: [thinking she would offer something poignant regarding the horrible bombings] Um...I am from Long Island. But I am Indian, yes.
Woman: It's just that I have a house in India, and whenever I see someone from India I just miss it soooo much.
FW: (blank stare). Huh.

In other news, Round II of Moo Court is dunzo, and I will admit that during the post argument critique, I was rebuked for my "off podium conduct." Confused at first, they went on to say that when other peeps were arguing, I twirled my pen, shuffled papers, wrote dirty, dirty notes to my partner, and made faces when the other team said something wrong. I wanted to tell them that sitting in an F.U. Law classroom without IM and my blog to keep me constantly occupied is very, very difficult, and what could they expect of me?

Finally, there is an intern in my office who started a pretty funny intern newsletter. Well it's all the rage at the office, and I must say I am feeling a little bit salty that even my boss is calling him the "hilarious intern." Since I can't say I am up for the "brilliant intern" label, the "hard- working intern" label, the "on-time intern" label, or, believe it or not, even the "best-looking intern" label, I certainly thought I had a shot at the "hilarious" one. But now I am just the intern who reminds people who have second homes in India of their property. Sad.

I am SOOOO sorry you guys!!! FishWatch took the weekend off, calls with offers to join the FishWatch Law Journal coming later today...

People, try not to accept any journal offers you may have received over the weekend, and if no offers came a' callin...don't despair. The F.U. FishWatch Law Journal Volume I is going to be extending offers later today, with an open bar event on S7 of the libes, red carpet starting at 11pm.

Volume I Issue 1 is going to be great - co-writing and research editor JF will be doing a note called "Moo Court: Who wore it best," pitting all you girls in the black skirt suits against each other. Also included will be an expose on the Admin's attempts to prevent future coffee attacks, and "OCI: Tales from a Student Greeter."

In other news, I found my F.U. ID, thank g*d, just in time for externship seminar-o-fun and Moo Court Round 2 (yes, all that fun packed into one evening). Note that I woke up today at 4:30am on a couch in North Carolina.

If you thought any of the new F.U. engagements were same sex couples, then THINK AGAIN...

So as you probably heard by now, the New York Court of Appeals denied the gays the right to marry. The rather weak arguments are ones we've heard before: "Leave it to the legislature!" "It's better for the children!" "No tradition of gay marriage!" "No long history of discrimination!" "No one wants to see a grown man in Vera Wang!" Chief Judge Kaye's dissent is just the right opinion on this matter - y'all should read it and spread the gospel. Click Here for the docs.

The big question now is what do I do with the "Marriage is Gay" t-shirt I spent 20$ on?

In other news, Round One of Moo Court Oral Args is over, and the highlight was when my opponent complimented the lovely knots on my new Thomas Pink french cuff shirt (a lovely b-day gift from lovely friends), to which I responded, "You have to dress for the holding you want." Maybe the gays before the Court of Appeals forgot that?

For those of you who know what I look like, have you seen my F.U. ID???

So I arrived at F.U. today, eager to articulate my thoughts on exigent circumstances (slash, I have NO thoughts on the issue), and got my wallet out of my pocket to flash my glamour shot to the security guard, only to find that my ID is missing! To think that there is someone making faded diagonal copies on the 1986 copy machine with my funds is just killing me. Also, now I can't get a 10% discount at the Starbucks on 9th, and had to coax the "guard" at the libes door to let me in. I had to refrain from saying to her "Do you even GO here?" and "Do you even KNOW who I am?" but was able to resist the urges.

So if any of you see my ID anywhere, please don't sell in on ebay.

Anyway, I just ran into former Section 5 Rep DK, and congratulated him as one of the recently engaged F.U. students. An artist's rendering of the ring:

Well well well, DK, maybe if you spent less on engagement rings and more on the first edition Lady Duff Gordon biography for Prof H.B. from the whole section, we would not be in the position we are in today. Regardless, Mazel Tov.

In other love lives news, FishWatch co-writing and research editor ER also recently got engaged. We hope the giant rock on her finger doesn't interrupt the laborious task of editing reader comments. Congrats ER!